If you have not figured it out by now, I spend a great deal of time observing things and trying to figure out what led to specific decision or activity.  So a book focused on body language is a no brainer great gift idea for me.   My wife was kind enough to give me The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease.  All in all, it is a pretty quick read and actually had some information I hope to validate in my future observations.  Although, there is a downside to having read this book – you constantly make yourself aware of any body language signals YOU may be given off in a given situation.  I’ll be sitting there talking to someone and check of things like… are my legs crossed, where are my hands, what part of the face am I staring at, are my palms down or up etc.  It is pretty unnerving at first, but it gives some quick validation on some of the points in the book.  I think there are some over-generalizations scattered about the book and I completely disagree with some bathroom statements/rules that were made, but overall, I place this informative book on the recommended reading list – especially for anyone who likes assess situations as much as I do.  Here are some of the informative things that stuck with me after my initial read – I am reserving the right to read this again in a couple of years and see if my own assessments until then.

•  Apparently Charles Darwin started the study of body language in a work he did back in 1872
• We are capable of recognizing around 250,000 facial expressions
• 55% of communication is non-verbal – I have read other related research that says this is probably closer to 60 to 65%
• Initial opinions are 60-80% done in 4 minutes
• When crossing your arms across your chest – 70% cross left arm over right arm – This fact I immediately tried out on myself and friends – I am in the minority, but 5 of 6 people I tested were in agreement.  Oddly enough, every one of them had troubles consciously switching the order
• Assessing body language should be done in clusters – look at the whole before making an assessment

• Body language takes precedence over verbal communication
• Submission is indicated by open palms
• Palm down indicates authority
• Finger pointing has international implications
• The OK sign is a positive sign
• 5-7 pumps is the average handshake – actually differs by country
• A downward palm in a handshake is showing dominance – no that I am aware of this, I am constantly assessing everyone’ handshake – it was amazing seeing how many times the dominant handshake is attempted – the authors provide a mechanism to combat it when it happens to you
• The left side is the dominant side in photos – GW Bush is a master at this
• Wrinkled lines by the sides of the eyes represents a genuine smile
• Credibility decreases when your arms are folded – also represents a defensive/closed position
• Providing someone a drink while negotiating can provide key information – if set down across body – closed, if set down on same side – open to discussion
• Never drop your arms on the inside of the chair arms – defeated
• Germans generally only give one pump per handshake
• Claims over 85% of North Americans do not have a passport…again in the minority since work requires me to travel 8^)
• Least senior Japanese people bow the most
• And something I know FIRST HAND – Japanes yes means they heard the question, not that they agree – this is absolutely true and very frustrating in the corporate world
• Don’t blow your nose in front of a Japanese person
• The palm in victory sign started as an English taunt signifying they still had their arrow shooting fingers – palm out is not considered a taught, but second or victory
• Don’t give the Texas Horns symbol in Italy or prepare for jail
• Waving hands around while speaking is bad style for the English
• Covering your mouth indicates you are lying… this is probably one of those over-generalization areas – my observations show that people conscious of their teeth or breadth do a very similar thing – coffee drinkers and smokers tend to do this a lot more that others – I have no indication they were all lying to me
• Your nose swells with blood when you are lying – these I need to verify some more
• Unless you want to indicate you are gay, don’t grab your ear in Italy
• Large pupils are more appealing – common toy design
• David Bowie has one permanently dilated eye – apparently lost a fist fight with a girl
• Only humans have whites of the eyes – provides direction of vision – had no clue this was true
• Don’t raise your eyebrow in Japan – unless you want a happy ending – and don’t stare at them
• Heavy blinking could mean lying
• over 80% of the information to the brain comes from the eyes
• Personal Zones – I am ALL about the personal zones and very aggressive in maintaining my boundaries – the book claims the intimate zone is 6-18″, personal is 18-48″, social 4-12′ and public >12′.  My personal zone definitely in 36-48″ zone social starts at least 5′ away.  I like my space and tend to get uneasy in elevators or large crowds.  I think it may be a result of being smaller stature through my early school days in most people violating those dimensions generally resulted in some form of harm.  As I entered college, I was hitting the weights pretty heavy and finally starting to build out, but that was also the time of heavy martial arts and that proximity in class meant you were about to battle.  Pretty much now, if you are not a part of my family (parents, brothers, their immediate family and my wife) I’ll be stepping back if the circle is broken.
• The authors claim that 90% of the time men choose end urinals and if not open, choose the midpoint.  This percentage is “Guy Code” low in my opinion -there is no reason this isn’t up in the 98-99% because there is ABSOLUTELY no reason to violate this rule.  If you have to, either use a stall or walk out PERIOD.  I should probably blog on this, but there are strict (and yes, I documented it) rules for men in bathrooms.  I also have rules on how bathrooms should be architected to support this rule (as in no even number of urinals), but I’ll save that for a future mega post
• Open legs show confidence for the male – closed opposite – this is the rule you will become a lot more aware of in your day to day gesturing
• The figure four leg cross is an American based gesture – Nazis looked for it during WWII
• locked ankles represent holding something back
• They actually have a side by side picture of Bush and a Monkey to show how they are compared – I’ll let this slide, but totally uncalled for – especially since they refer to other pictures where is Bush is dominant gesturing Blair
• The feet generally point to the most interesting or interested in person
• Strive for the position on the right side of the boss – represents more power

 Needless to say, this book was loaded with information.  I also know my boss read it so at least I know what he is looking out for – now time to use it in my favor.