Last weekend I had the opportunity to ride some powder at Devil’s Head Ski  Board Resort in Wisconsin.  Unfortunately, my wife was unable to go due to illness, but some of my friends were able to make the trek up there with me.  We actually headed up Thursday night in order to beat some of the weekend crowds on Friday.  A mere 4 hours from our house makes this a very bearable trip.

Although it was pretty cold out, the real danger was the weaponry that was being deployed.

…. what?  I get the sense you are not buying this.  Fine, I’ll come clean, the previous pictures were not from Devil’s Head.  I didn’t take the camera with me so I went ahead and threw in some pics from our Colorado trips a few years back.  What gave it away, the fact that Devil’s Head is in the Midwest (think flat) or there would actually be a back country there?  Anyway, we had a great time.  The first day (Friday) temperature was not too bad during the day session (~24 deg), but the wind was cranking through in the 13-15 mph range making the exits off the lift rather blistering.  In fact, we could put our arms out and the wind would blow us uphill to the start of the adjacent runs.  The temperature started dropping pretty quick after noon and was darn cold for the night session.  Luckily we know to keep our board edges razor sharp in the Midwest in order to cut through the ice – nothing like transferring edges and noticing that yellow hue signifying solid ice (no, not THAT kind of yellow snow).  I had fallen pretty hard on a mogul run earlier in the day due to being all ice in between the mounds.  Everyone with me fell on that run as well, but only I ended up with the third knee – translated… a huge swollen welt on the left side of my left knee.  It didn’t seem to affect the motion I needed to board so I brushed it off.  This injury coupled with my shoulder that had a cortisone injection a few days before forced me to curtail my rail activities.  Linda cautioned me to take it easy this time because she couldn’t drive me home like she usually has to.  So very little of this:

A little more therapy on the shoulder and some ice on the knee should have me back on the rails next time we go.

My observations from the week follow the jump

The main observation occurred on Saturday when the temperature during the day dipped below 5 degrees (without windchill).  Having spent a lot of time at the Midwest resorts, we all had the proper apparel allowing us to keep all of our skin covered (except my nose which ended up pretty red at the end of the day).  Since Linda couldn’t go, I decided to head up to the ski shop and get her something.  This was a Big Mistake.  There were a ton of people in that tiny shop all buying gators and other clothing options to survive in the tundra.  I found a shirt for her in about 2 minutes and proceeded to the checkout line that had about 15 people in it.  Any guesses on how many checkout people they had… anyone? … they had 2 people.  This might have worked, but they only had 1 register so only one person could check out a time.  The second person spent his time cutting tags off and handing the tags to the other person to scan.  This was very frustrating especially since the people I was with were waiting for me in the rental area.

Ironically, there were two women (one with a baby literally strapped to her stomach) who had a European heritage.  The whole time I was standing there, they conversed in their native tongue … I am a sucker for European women (yes, my wife knows and doesn’t care as long as I don’t touch hehehe).  It is kind of fun to try and make out what they are saying (although it probably translates to … “why is that American dork staring at us).  At least this made the wait somewhat tolerable.  And then two things occurred that got the blood boiling.  First off, my European candy pulled the “Phantom Line Cutter”. This has to be in my upper echelon of annoyances.  After waiting my turn for close to 10 minutes, her European companion comes up and gives her a bunch of stuff to purchase for him.  Suddenly, I am not so fond of the dialect and convinced it translates to “Hey let’s screw this American scum”   For future encounters, can anyone translate “Hey asshole, stop pimping your girlfriend and get to the back”  in French and German – feel free to embellish.  So now the line just got one customer longer.  I smoothed my bristled hair and continued to patiently wait my turn.

A mere two from the register, the second irritating thing happened.  A lady walks into the store, goes directly to the counter where we are standing and starts asking the clerk what type of gloves he recommends for this weather.  He tried to blow her off, but she continued to question him about whether there are some better than others and what are the best things to look for.  He had to stop servicing his increasingly disgruntled customers to explain to the woman that the gloves were in a certain section with the women’s gloves grouped on this particular side…. This was not the personal attention she felt she deserved and became angry that he didn’t jump over the counter and hand select a pair of gloves for her.  To his credit, he motioned to the line and stated he had to take care of those people first before [addressing her failure to plan for winter weather conditions] – some literary freedom taken there.  I finally paid for my shirt and ran back to those waiting for me – thankfully I don’t need ski boo[a]t anchors anymore.

some other quick observations:

• My friend was busy noticing that a number of the players at the Ho Chunk Casino were seriously overweight – was that place named after heavy hookers?
• One boarder was actually wearing a gorilla costume.  You better be good if you are going to draw attention to yourself like that.
• It is surprising to recognize the same employees at out of town locations.  Every time we go to Ho Chunk we see the same bartender and we always point out the rather tall but super thin Asian lady working at the Chinese restaurant in Baraboo.
• Devil’s Head needs to spend about 30 dollars in ropes and provide guidelines for where to park in their slopeside lot – by the end of the day it looks more like a junkyard.
• Rockford’s interchanges to Wisconsin are a nightmare while they complete their road modernization project.
• A hamburger, two cookies and a Powerade come to over $14
• Unless you stay at their hotel, you can only get one day ski rentals making you waste time (and money) to re-acquire equipment each day
• The farthest to the right lift attendants at the top of the hill were smoking weed when we made our way up there.  I thought I was imagining it until my friend independently confirmed it.  Luckily we are experienced enough not to require any assistance off the lifts.
• The Baraboo Walmart is just plain HUGE (but they don’t sell women’s bathing suits)
• Capital beer sucks
• Under Armor mock turtle shirts are worth the money

Well, that is all I have for the moment.  I want to make sure I give myself enough time to make some popcorn and get some drinks before the Larry King show tonight.  Our joke of a governor is apparently going on the air to prove his innocence to people in the other 49 states.  Of course, this is means he missed the start of his impeachment trial in Springfield today.  This [I’ll insert a specific word in my translation request above once I receive it] is a piece of work.

Much like Blow***ovich’s political career, this post has come to the end